What’s the point?

18 Aug 2010 8 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , ,

What’s the point of inspiration
If there’s no one to inspire?
And if there’s nothing to ignite
Why would I try to start a fire?
I write to set my demons free
I write to give whats in my heart
But why create another world
If no one wants to be a part?
Do you think my words are selfish?
Or is there just no time to care?
Your absence looms inside my mind
And still you’re not even aware
You used to move me and amaze me
But now it all seems so rehearsed
What would you do? How would you feel
If this was somehow all reversed?
You want to reach out, touch their hearts
You want the world to know your name
But you can’t even comprehend
That someone else would want the same
So I’ll sit and write these words
That you will never even read
Despite myself, it’s your approval
That I still want…though I don’t need

Eyes wide shut

26 Apr 2010 6 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , ,

I was so certain of my path
I guess that was my first mistake
It seems I can be sure of nothing
Except this dull, deep, hollow ache
I can’t see past a world in ruins
Although I know I should adapt
I try to follow a new road
But somehow always end up trapped
Another day, another hour
Imprisoned by my own desire
Consuming everything I am
An uncontrolled and deadly fire
Why can’t you see this isn’t real?
This bright, polite version of me
When was the last time that you looked?
Are you afraid of what you’ll see?
Nobody seems to understand
That all of this is just a play
An oscar nominee performance
I’ve learned to put on every day
‘Just keep her busy, make her laugh
See then she won’t have time to think…’
About the dreams that turn to nightmares
The floating hope starting to sink
These words can’t be my only refuge
Or they could turn into my grave
The girl with so much heart and fire
You were too uncomfortable to save

Uninvited thoughts

12 Apr 2010 9 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You found your way into my head
Before I knew I’d let you in
I hesitated for a moment
And you were underneath my skin
You read me like an open book
And know exactly what to say
But while I see you in my sleep
You simply smile and walk away
You know me better than I do
But still can’t see what you have done
Somehow you turned into my saviour
The only source of warmth, my sun
I shouldn’t think of you so often
I shouldn’t need to see your face
But you crept into my heart
And somehow found my secret place
Your words breed chaos in my mind
And yet I need them like the air
I could just dive into your thoughts
And spend a lifetime swimming there
You’ve made me question my whole world
You’ve made me doubt all that I know
But your holding me together
So now, how can I let you go?

Walk away

30 Mar 2010 3 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , ,

You try to break me with your words
You try to bind me with your fear
For me to see the world your way
An uninspiring pupeteer
My heart is fierce, my spirit wild
I can not walk the path you tread
A vision darkened and mundane
No coloured dreams to share your bed
How can you live your life asleep?
Without elation, without pain
Never breathing winds of change
Or dancing barefoot in the rain
You can not crush me or control me
I will not fold under your stare
You live your days locked in a coma
Always here, never aware
I’ll walk away without regret
I will embrace it, breathe it in
I’ll leave you to your selfish games
Comfort in knowing, you’ll never win

It wears me out

16 Mar 2010 2 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I’m sick of writing with my pain
I’m tired of living with this fear
I can’t believe all my worst nightmares
Sought me out and found me here
I ache to live without the sorrow
Escape the darkness, bathe in light
I want to breathe in without thinking
To walk a path and know it’s right
I need my dreams to captivate me
And my days to follow through
To keep sight of the gifts I own
And not so often think of you
I want to feel some kind of normal
To know a life without this load
To see a future that is written
In caligraphy, not code
I long for some form of control
To have a say in who I’ll be
The choice was stolen from my hand
Without it, how can I be free?
I’m so proficient at pretending
But it takes all the strength I own
Protecting everybody else
Falling apart when I’m alone
I’m upside down and inside out
I am a stranger in my skin
I have to salvage all the pieces
But just don’t know where to begin
I need the world to right itself
The blood is rushing to my head
And I have no desire to drown
In every tear I’ve ever shed

Survival mode

23 Feb 2010 1 Comment

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Just when I find a little peace
You go and start another war
I look at you start to question
What I’m fighting so hard for?
Please don’t assume I will just settle
If it’s not ALL, it’s not enough
I am already on the edge
And you don’t want to call my bluff
How did I wind up in this cage
With faceless strangers shushing me?
Telling me how I should feel
And who I am supposed to be
Well I’ve pretended long enough
I can no longer hide my heart
How fast you seem to have forgotten
It’s why you loved me at the start
This is our LIFE, it’s not a game
Time moves to fast, no second chance
My spirit in survival mode
And there will be no backward glance
Now you are with me or against me
This is a battle I wont lose
My sanity is stretching thin
And the time has come to choose
I refuse to be your habit
I will not settle for polite
I want amazement in your eyes
For you to burn, for you to fight

Still standing

15 Dec 2009 1 Comment

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , ,

I want to still believe in magic
I want to write of more than pain
I need to know more than this life
With all its levels of insane
This really should have been so simple
But then my world turned upside down
Since then I’ve just been treading water
It would be so easy just to drown
I know I’m stronger than I was
But still so fragile, so unsure
This unknown path is a disease
My mind can’t cope without a cure
I fly, I fall, I ache, I grieve
I lose myself, just for a while
Then realise I am still standing
And through the tears I can still smile
I CAN DO THIS! You don’t believe me?
Then you have no business being here
You will not take my hope, my courage
And make me give into the fear
I can not change what’s been and gone
Though each fall leaves me with a scar
I can’t give up accept defeat
When I’ve already come so far
For now this is all I can do
A selfish quest that is my right
Though I keep plunging into darkness
I will keep reaching for the light

Clouds

24 Nov 2009 3 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , ,

Please don’t tell me to come down
Because I’m happy way up here
Alone with my imagination
Away from everything I fear
Why should I rejoin the world?
It offers nothing that I need
It only kicks me when I’m down
Then hangs around to watch me bleed
Lost in my words and dreams
I feel so safe, I feel so free
No need to edit my personas
I can be real, I can be me
My toes are still touching the ground
Although you fear I’m losing touch
I keep my head up in the clouds
So that it doesn’t hurt as much
Its my induced poetic coma
That keeps the pain from breaking through
But somehow even in the clouds
I still can’t keep my thoughts from you

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