Just believe
13 May 2010 5 Comments
in Poetry Tags: choices, Courage, Determination, fear, freedom, hope, journey, Path, Poetry
I feel it building in my heart
And I just can not help but smile
Although I know that hope is dangerous
I think I’ll keep it for a while
Although it’s possible I’ll fall
I can not fight the urge to climb
And make the choice to just believe
A choice I may regret in time
If I always protect my heart
How can it ever really feel?
How would I ever feel alive?
How could I know what’s true and real?
This somehow feels like a beginning
A new unknown and winding road
A way to find my place, my purpose
To use the gifts I was bestowed
I’m apprehensive and I’m scared
I’ve never been good with ‘unknown’
But I look back at where I’ve travelled
And I can see how much I’ve grown
So I take comfort in that fact
And summon all my strength and fear
I have to risk the pain, just jump
Or I’ll always be standing here
Incomplete
02 Mar 2010 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: choices, Courage, Determination, FIGHT, freedom, Heart, hope, inner voice, inspiration, journey, Life, Path
I need to rise above the clouds
I need to see it, breathe it in
I need to feel alive again
Before my soul stretches too thin
This here is not all I can be
My mind, my heart, it aches for more
I refuse to reach the end
And wonder what it all was for
Like it or not, I AM my heart
I can no longer drown it out
But I look at what is past
And everything is lost in doubt
I can not be consumed by pain
I can not settle for this hand
I want to know that it’s ok
To fly not knowing where I’ll land
There is so much left unexplored
I feel so small, so incomplete
I want to change the world, my world
I can not fold, admit defeat
I need to set the dark on fire
To make a change, to be fulfilled
To have a voice, a gift, a reason
To heal, inspire and rebuild
I feel it churning deep inside
Just burning, screaming to be free
Despite the fear, no turning back
It’s time to fly, it’s time to see
Outsider
04 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: choices, Determination, Life, LOVE, Poetry, Strength, test
It must be so easy to inspire
If your whole life is full of light
When you have everything you wished for
And never even had to fight
How can you talk to me of pain?
You’ve only seen from safe outside
How can you understand my tears
If you have never really cried?
There is a place I must get back to
I have to do it on my own
Although your shaddow stands beside me
We both know I am alone
I’m clutching straws, grasping at air
Trying to make it through this maze
But you pretending that you care for me
Only magnifies the haze
I have it all, but I have nothing
And I’m so tired that it aches
In spite of you I have to question
Whether I’ve got what it takes
I was where I was meant to be
How could you make me doubt my heart?
You saw me falling into pieces
Then took a piece to pull apart
But I am stronger than you thought
And I have way too much to lose
The outside may look more inviting
But it offers nothing I can use
The war
20 Oct 2009 2 Comments
in Poetry Tags: anger, Determination, Longing
There is a war raging inside
Makes me so tired, I can’t sleep
Making a hundred whispered promises
That neither side intends to keep
What has this “experience” turned me into?
All the things I used to hate
I feel I’ve already lived a lifetime
But I am only twenty eight
I am longing to be inspired
By something other than this tension
To write of love and exultation
Things I no longer even mention
I AM NOT ASKING FOR THE WORLD!
Well it’s the world to me I guess
You can’t just show me what could be
And then expect me to take less
I didn’t choose for this to happen
But I CAN choose not to take it
Although sometimes painful and unchartered
Our path is only what we make it
This is my test
18 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: Consumed, Determination, mask, Poetry
The moon is full, the world is silent
Here I lay staring at the wall
Trying to figure out the moment
That I paused and lost it all
Why did I take this choice for granted
And assume it would just be?
Why did I let it take control
And smother everything that’s me?
When did I let go of my passion
And let my dreams just slip away?
Is there room inside for both of me?
Are there enough hours in the day?
I feel exhausted, I feel numb
I feel alone within the crowd
I feel like nobody can hear me
Although I’ve never screamed so loud
I just exist, go through the motions
Always putting on a mask
But in these pages lie the answers
To the questions they don’t ask
How can I live, how could I die
Without that love, without that trust
Without knowing that amazing life
Made from equal parts of us?
It’s just so wrong and so unnatural
To be denied what is my right
To be a mother and protector
But I won’t give up without a fight
I don’t know how to keep on going
But I know I have to try
This is my test, this is my burden
And there’s no choice but do or die
