Uninvited thoughts

12 Apr 2010 9 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You found your way into my head
Before I knew I’d let you in
I hesitated for a moment
And you were underneath my skin
You read me like an open book
And know exactly what to say
But while I see you in my sleep
You simply smile and walk away
You know me better than I do
But still can’t see what you have done
Somehow you turned into my saviour
The only source of warmth, my sun
I shouldn’t think of you so often
I shouldn’t need to see your face
But you crept into my heart
And somehow found my secret place
Your words breed chaos in my mind
And yet I need them like the air
I could just dive into your thoughts
And spend a lifetime swimming there
You’ve made me question my whole world
You’ve made me doubt all that I know
But your holding me together
So now, how can I let you go?

Shadow

06 Apr 2010 3 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

I lay here silent in the dusk
Away from prying eyes and ears
I let the smile slide off my face
And I can give way to my tears
It hangs above us like a cloud
A dark dense mist that blocks our view
An evil fog of shattered dreams
That slowly eats through me and you
It hovers over as we sleep
It stalks behind us in the light
It just gets faster if we run
Getting stronger if we fight
It makes me doubt my faith in us
Can we survive this if we fail?
The thought of life under this shadow
Makes it ache to just inhale
It’s every word we never say
It’s every look we dare not share
It blows the mind and breaks the heart
No rules, no justice, nothing fair
The years are passing way too fast
Each with more bitterness and fear
The world in danger of collapsing
Cracking with each hidden tear
Behind the mask, it’s not ok
Despite our seeming joie de vie
Without this dream held in our arms
The darkness will not set us free

It wears me out

16 Mar 2010 2 Comments

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I’m sick of writing with my pain
I’m tired of living with this fear
I can’t believe all my worst nightmares
Sought me out and found me here
I ache to live without the sorrow
Escape the darkness, bathe in light
I want to breathe in without thinking
To walk a path and know it’s right
I need my dreams to captivate me
And my days to follow through
To keep sight of the gifts I own
And not so often think of you
I want to feel some kind of normal
To know a life without this load
To see a future that is written
In caligraphy, not code
I long for some form of control
To have a say in who I’ll be
The choice was stolen from my hand
Without it, how can I be free?
I’m so proficient at pretending
But it takes all the strength I own
Protecting everybody else
Falling apart when I’m alone
I’m upside down and inside out
I am a stranger in my skin
I have to salvage all the pieces
But just don’t know where to begin
I need the world to right itself
The blood is rushing to my head
And I have no desire to drown
In every tear I’ve ever shed

Survival mode

23 Feb 2010 1 Comment

by bryliejane in Poetry Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Just when I find a little peace
You go and start another war
I look at you start to question
What I’m fighting so hard for?
Please don’t assume I will just settle
If it’s not ALL, it’s not enough
I am already on the edge
And you don’t want to call my bluff
How did I wind up in this cage
With faceless strangers shushing me?
Telling me how I should feel
And who I am supposed to be
Well I’ve pretended long enough
I can no longer hide my heart
How fast you seem to have forgotten
It’s why you loved me at the start
This is our LIFE, it’s not a game
Time moves to fast, no second chance
My spirit in survival mode
And there will be no backward glance
Now you are with me or against me
This is a battle I wont lose
My sanity is stretching thin
And the time has come to choose
I refuse to be your habit
I will not settle for polite
I want amazement in your eyes
For you to burn, for you to fight

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