Stranger
12 Jul 2010 1 Comment
in Just a thought Tags: choices, Consumed, Path, Spirit, stranger, Strength, Understanding
I thought I knew you.
Now you are a stranger to me…but I’m not sorry.
The echoes are still there, remnants of the broken. The shell of the sunken ship, eaten away, reclaimed by nature, by changing tides. But the strong pieces remained, waiting to be salvaged, to see the sunlight once more.
You frightened me, fascinated me, bewildered me. How could such beauty and such darkness reside together for so long? How did the gypsy end up chained and still survive? How could you live by your heart when it was shattered beyond belief?
I still wonder, but I guess I’ll never really know. Because you don’t know.
Do you hold yourself responsible? Or me? Two sides of the same coin. Was it your choice to let the darkness take you? Or life’s?
What you were and what you wanted to be could not have been more different, but it was your blessing and your curse to be the poet. To feel it, feel it all. Magnified. Multiplied. Searing, pulsing, stabbing, numbing. Dreams, hopes, words, passion.
Two sides of the same coin. It was flipped. And now here I am, on the other side of the mirror. Smiling.
Now you are a stranger to me…but I’m not sorry.
Inside this room
07 Jun 2010 4 Comments
in Poetry Tags: Alone, choices, doubt, dreams, fear, Heart, inner voice, Path, Poetry
Just because you can not grasp it
Doesn’t mean it can’t be real
Despite the bargains that you make
Willing to beg belie and steal
Your narrow-minded observations
Leave a black hole of desire
Your world could fit inside this room
Devoid of heart igniting fire
I’ve learned that love can be enough
That stars can pierce the darkest night
That it can all be worth the wait
When you are finally bathed in light
Don’t live and die here in the dark
Never opening your eyes
Never knowing who you are
Just more untruth behind the lies
Time is too short to take a guess
You see, your heart already knows
And when you trust your true desire
The way ahead just softly glows
Just believe
13 May 2010 5 Comments
in Poetry Tags: choices, Courage, Determination, fear, freedom, hope, journey, Path, Poetry
I feel it building in my heart
And I just can not help but smile
Although I know that hope is dangerous
I think I’ll keep it for a while
Although it’s possible I’ll fall
I can not fight the urge to climb
And make the choice to just believe
A choice I may regret in time
If I always protect my heart
How can it ever really feel?
How would I ever feel alive?
How could I know what’s true and real?
This somehow feels like a beginning
A new unknown and winding road
A way to find my place, my purpose
To use the gifts I was bestowed
I’m apprehensive and I’m scared
I’ve never been good with ‘unknown’
But I look back at where I’ve travelled
And I can see how much I’ve grown
So I take comfort in that fact
And summon all my strength and fear
I have to risk the pain, just jump
Or I’ll always be standing here
Uninvited thoughts
12 Apr 2010 9 Comments
in Poetry Tags: choices, desire, doubt, dreams, honesty, lost, Path, Strength, test
You found your way into my head
Before I knew I’d let you in
I hesitated for a moment
And you were underneath my skin
You read me like an open book
And know exactly what to say
But while I see you in my sleep
You simply smile and walk away
You know me better than I do
But still can’t see what you have done
Somehow you turned into my saviour
The only source of warmth, my sun
I shouldn’t think of you so often
I shouldn’t need to see your face
But you crept into my heart
And somehow found my secret place
Your words breed chaos in my mind
And yet I need them like the air
I could just dive into your thoughts
And spend a lifetime swimming there
You’ve made me question my whole world
You’ve made me doubt all that I know
But your holding me together
So now, how can I let you go?
Incomplete
02 Mar 2010 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: choices, Courage, Determination, FIGHT, freedom, Heart, hope, inner voice, inspiration, journey, Life, Path
I need to rise above the clouds
I need to see it, breathe it in
I need to feel alive again
Before my soul stretches too thin
This here is not all I can be
My mind, my heart, it aches for more
I refuse to reach the end
And wonder what it all was for
Like it or not, I AM my heart
I can no longer drown it out
But I look at what is past
And everything is lost in doubt
I can not be consumed by pain
I can not settle for this hand
I want to know that it’s ok
To fly not knowing where I’ll land
There is so much left unexplored
I feel so small, so incomplete
I want to change the world, my world
I can not fold, admit defeat
I need to set the dark on fire
To make a change, to be fulfilled
To have a voice, a gift, a reason
To heal, inspire and rebuild
I feel it churning deep inside
Just burning, screaming to be free
Despite the fear, no turning back
It’s time to fly, it’s time to see
Survival mode
23 Feb 2010 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: choices, desire, Heart, honesty, Life, LOVE, Selfishness, Spirit, Strength, test
Just when I find a little peace
You go and start another war
I look at you start to question
What I’m fighting so hard for?
Please don’t assume I will just settle
If it’s not ALL, it’s not enough
I am already on the edge
And you don’t want to call my bluff
How did I wind up in this cage
With faceless strangers shushing me?
Telling me how I should feel
And who I am supposed to be
Well I’ve pretended long enough
I can no longer hide my heart
How fast you seem to have forgotten
It’s why you loved me at the start
This is our LIFE, it’s not a game
Time moves to fast, no second chance
My spirit in survival mode
And there will be no backward glance
Now you are with me or against me
This is a battle I wont lose
My sanity is stretching thin
And the time has come to choose
I refuse to be your habit
I will not settle for polite
I want amazement in your eyes
For you to burn, for you to fight
The void
17 Feb 2010 4 Comments
in Poetry Tags: choices, Courage, inner voice, Poetry, Strength, test
At first the fear catches my breath
The emptiness is like a shroud
I feel like nobody could hear me
Because the silence is so loud
Colour ceases to exist
It isn’t black it isn’t white
I can’t tell if I stand in darkness
Or if I’m blinded by the light
But suddenly I realise
That I am safe, that I am free
Of all the fear, of all the pain
The outside world has offered me
I scream my questions to the void
But the reply comes from my heart
“You have the strength, you can’t give up
And you have known that from the start”
Her voice is calm and powerful
Now it brings me to my knees
“I don’t know how to keep on going
Loan me your strength and help me please”
She says “Let go of all that binds you
Follow your heart, it’s who we are
And each and every time you need me
Just reach inside, I won’t be far
Accept sometimes there are no answers
No line between what’s wrong and right
Don’t lose your faith, it’s all we have
How can you win if you won’t fight?”
It washes over me in waves
I know I’ll find the strength…somehow
Although I know I can not stay here
It is my sanctuary for now.
A life on hold
21 Jan 2010 2 Comments
in Poetry Tags: choices, Consumed, Path, Poetry, Selfishness
How do I stop my mind from racing?
How do I calm my pulsing veins?
Why try to alter the unchangeable
And pray for sunshine when it rains?
In so few years I’ve lived a lifetime
But I’ve been running standing still
Trying to let my voice be heard
While choking on this bitter pill
I could heal, I could inspire
I could imagine and create
But I have been so long consumed
All other dreams have had to wait
But will I make them wait to long
While I chase whispers in the air?
Will there be room to start again?
Will I have strength enough to care?
Will my summation be these words
That few will read and then forget?
When these years have passed me by
Will I have nothing but regret?
There are no lights, there are no arrows
And so I stumble in the dark
Searching for my gift, my reason
And a way to leave my mark
Outsider
04 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: choices, Determination, Life, LOVE, Poetry, Strength, test
It must be so easy to inspire
If your whole life is full of light
When you have everything you wished for
And never even had to fight
How can you talk to me of pain?
You’ve only seen from safe outside
How can you understand my tears
If you have never really cried?
There is a place I must get back to
I have to do it on my own
Although your shaddow stands beside me
We both know I am alone
I’m clutching straws, grasping at air
Trying to make it through this maze
But you pretending that you care for me
Only magnifies the haze
I have it all, but I have nothing
And I’m so tired that it aches
In spite of you I have to question
Whether I’ve got what it takes
I was where I was meant to be
How could you make me doubt my heart?
You saw me falling into pieces
Then took a piece to pull apart
But I am stronger than you thought
And I have way too much to lose
The outside may look more inviting
But it offers nothing I can use
